1 Hour

On wednesday I worked for 1 hour how suckish is that, I was all geared up to do a full days work was all organised and I went in to the field to weigh boxes in and as soon as I started they finished picking so I only had about 20 boxes to weigh and stack up. Got to drive the Mule though :) which I will take a picture off and some point to show my works vechical, kind of a down grade from last year since I was driving my dads truck with a trailer on the back ( yay no reversing trailers this year)

Anyway I'm bored, the peas haven't filled out enough to pick so no work for two days.

Currently downloading 'Dear Jack' the documentry of Andrew McMahon when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. It sounds amazing and I love jack's Mannequin and the meanings behind the music :)

It's that time of year again

I can't believe it's almost the end of June.

It's the start of the summer, I've just completely moved out of Halls in cardiff and am now back home for the summer to work on my parents farm and earn some dosh, while learning Hugarian and Polish swear words.

Tomorrow is the 2nd day of picking peas and broad beans but it's my first back on the job since I missed today due to the fact I was in Cardiff getting the last of my stuff and cleaning my room so I could check out of halls once and for all. I have mixed feelings about tomorrow i'm happy since I will start earning money for the uni trip to Poland next year and also because the sooner and faster we get these stupid vegatables picked the quicker it will all be over and I can go back to Cardiff and start being a student for the 2nd year.

I think I kinda started this blog at the wrong time since all I will be doing for the next 3 months is working non stop, so bare with me and I will try and find something interesting to write on here.

Along with work I have a summer project for uni and also has a mass-gigantic reading list which is a mixture of pleasure and uni related, who knew that photography has so much meaning and semiotical topics.

Oh well best be going to bed, early start in the morning.

TTFN and Sending You Smiley Eyes xx

Write what you know

Have you ever had writers block and when you've asked someone for their advice all they can say is "Write what you know" but what if I don't know anything, what if I have nothing interesting in my head and all I can think about is how empty my head feels and all my ideas have simply dried up.

Right so since I have this problem alot I have some advice and ways to get the ideas flowing again or atleast to make your head feel not so empty.

First thing I normally do is grab a dictionary and pick a word at random and write it in the middle of the page or on a sticky note. Next look at the definition and write any words that come to mind when you see this word or think about it; that may be words that rhyme with it or relate to it.

If that didn't work try closely your eyes and try imagining a scene in your head, don't think too hard about what you can see just let it happen and if you want to control the actions or events you can, it's your mind afterall. Plus I find music that is more instrumental is better for this since voices can sometimes put you off.

Okay so something else you could do is write what is in front of you, whether you are in your room, sat on a train, bus or on a bench this normally helps since you don't focus on the fact that you can't write and you focus more on what is right there just waiting for you to notice it.

Hope this has helped. Like I said this works for me but might not for everyone, by trying these you may find something else that helps you, either way don't just give up.

If you are still struggling contact me or leave me a comment below, these were only a few of things I do or the ones that help me the most. Everyone is different in the way their mind works.

Sending You Smiley Eyes :)

A Stroll Down Amnesia Lane

I am standing in a room, that is as blank as a new canvas, with my breathing as the first lick of paint.
The colour from my lungs is coming at steady pace until my newly found canvas starts to melt, dripping slow and smooth on to the floor; the wooden boards are sprouting grass, green and untouched by the human hand.

I have no recollection of this place; it may have seeped its way in from a film or painting, either way it has become main focus of the eye of my open mind. The image is so strong, like it has been inexistence along with my first films as a child; like the drops of rain falling in to the cracks in wood, never moving just soaked up and present in the never closing flood gates.

My attention has now been diverted to a figure in the background of my ever so present memory, a small child; a girl as slight and pale as a snow drop in spring. She dances with such poise amongst the red roses beneath her bare feet, landing ever so lightly brushing each petal as the gravity takes its toll.

Moving through the field of scarlet, the light breeze of spring running through her hair like fingers. Twisting it this way and that. But so engrossed in the texture so smooth in that gust of air, she trips over a forgotten basket. As she lands with a thud, her grace has gone, the crimson of the rose petals turns to liquid fire in her mind.

She stares silently at the watering can in which her head has just been, in her hands smudges of red begin to appear as they drip from her colourless forehead. The sky of spring turns dark and the girl’s face starts to fade and the walls of my blank canvas appear once more but this time colourful, yet gloomy.

Sand In My Face

"If someone wants to try to kick sand in your face, let them. They'll probarly end up kicking to hard or fast, become unbalanced and fall over completely missing you and getting a nice mouthfull of sand"

Okay so i'm not gonna just go off on a rant about someone in particular, nope, it's about everyone in this world that think they can mean just because someone is different or maybe not as confident. I know this girl and i call her a girl cause to be honest she doesn't diserve to be called woman or lady cause she is just a little girl, a whiny, angry at the world and bitch of a little girl. OK OK so maybe I am going off on one person in particular but I want to get my point across.
She loves Lady Gaga as do I, she loves the fact that she is telling everyone to happy with who they are as am I but she then picks on people or judges because someone is different, a little hypocritical if you ask me and it really pisses me off.

I was picked on from the age of 10 cause I wore glasses and I was overweight, although in primary school i let it pass, but it got worse in highschool and nickname on my first day of school was 'Waddle Waddle' which ofcourse hurt and made me feel tiny and that I was worth no ones time. I was silent in class but when talking to teachers I would put my smiley front up that I had perfected since the age of 11.

Moving through highschool I began to get a bit more confident and just ignored the drive by insults and just tried my hardest to be me and happy although like every other teenager I had my low points.

College was the best time of my life I really came in to my own and was shocked that I was able to make friends so easily and they never judged me and liked me for who I was, making me more confident.

I'm now in uni and still get the ocassional dig taken at me but I really don't care anymore, I don't see what they gain from it. I've again made so many new friends but still don't understand why people like me so much and want to be friends with me. I guess I will always feel this way.

I've been looking back on what people from my highschool are up to now and how well the people who picked on are doing and I know this is bad but most of them have done nothing with their live and are working jobs they hate. So i'm guessing that picking on me and other people didn't really help them in life.

Karma is a bitch but it's great when it works in your favour. Mwahhahahahah

A little rant for my first post, I don't rant all the time I promise :)

Sending You Smiley Eyes xx